Monday, March 10, 2014

clarity

"clarity is the counterbalance of profound thoughts" -Luc de Clapiers

In nine days I will be turning twenty-four. Each year the days go by faster and the nights become darker. It seems like only yesterday that I was riding my bike through Davis, studying, exploring, creating, thinking- just having the time of my life. Then reality hit. You must get a job and grow up! So that is what I did; worked in a big city getting paid a salary (I called it my "big girl" job). But unlike most people who would stick it out and accept the grind for two years, I decided to resign from my prestigious position (note: resign is a much more positive word than quit). My painting professor once told me, "life is too short." I took this piece of advice and ran with it- all the way back to California. Now here I am, doing nothing, but something important in my eyes. Although I am unemployed, living with my parents, rock climbing everyday I am not a loafer, bum, freeloader, slacker! What I have accomplished and experienced in the past twenty-four years is mind-boggling. And this is where I acknowledge that I shouldn't feel guilty or disappointed, but rather proud of where I have come. Now this brings me to the photo you see on the right. Each day I volunteer my time at my old High School helping out students in the painting class. In return I have a free studio space to paint. A typical day for me is painting, teaching, and rock climbing. They say the older you get the wiser you become. Case in point: I will be a year older and spending my time doing what I love. And not only am I doing what I love, but I have found clarity, energy, and peace within me. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I were to live vicariously through a Ralph Waldo Emerson essay on transcendentalism. But then I wake up and find myself in the presence of such beauty and greatness that is my life.